“Finding” yourself presupposes that there is already a self in existence and that this self is somehow hiding from you. This is misleading. You create yourself. We all create ourselves. Our identities are formed either parallel to the communities that we are raised in, or against a set of norms that we are actively — or passively — trying to reject.
With that being said, be whoever you want to be (but please don’t hurt anyone). There is no “norm”; it doesn’t exist. There are only a set of socially constructed ideas that we’ve decided to perform, but we don’t have to.