I’ve had a lot of people in my life, particularly men, who think they have some sort of say in who I am supposed to be. No one has any say in the things I do, how I dress, the color of my hair, the amount of makeup I put on, or the words I speak other than me. I am the only person who gets to decide who I’m going to be. I spent too long letting people tell me who I was and ridiculing me for doing what I want, and that’s done. I am unapologetic for the person I am becoming because for the first time in my life, I like who I am. No one else’s opinion matters unless I want it to. I’m in control now, and I really don’t care if you don’t like it.
I'm worried about impressions, and I'm worried bout impressing, all this life business has honestly got me stressing, I never meant to do this leave us all guessing, and if you think I'm lying imma think you must be messing, my mind is a kaleidoscope, some days it's dark others dope, I never let go of my hope, because my hope is a rope it shows me there's a door, in the floor, an escape to a place that i need to get away too, I still care about you and so many others too, i don't want to think all I did was hurt you, it wasn't your fault you were fine, it was my drama it was mine, you're not supposed to be a self deprecating hating and self loathing person , because you deserve so much more, everything i couldn't give you I accept my mistakes and I want to give you so much more, please don't judge Lord here I am before You, im honestly questioning, yes I implore You, I always sung your song you were above all else, so do You think you could make my mind less of a stereoscopic white black hell? Everything I'm not made me everything I am, Kanye said that and he said it true, im beginning to realize I'm literally nothing without You yes it's true, my beats laid back spread out, its not me elevations not my goal, my goal is to show a little bit of love to a world of dread, so remember what Pac said come on and keep your head up, im a product of my environment, this is where I go to cry and vent, I admit, I've been wrong so wrong in my past life, but I can barely see a light it's gonna take a long walk, down an awful lonesome road, but I've always got the hope that wedged itself into my soul.
Im so very torn with the world im seeing, I want to help you and see you through but I can't do that and be with you, im so tired of this life, and I'm tired of the fight, I'm tired of this endless enveloping night, I wish people would realize that it wasn't my fault, I tried as hard as i could i did everything I could, don't you think I would? You deserve so much better, you deserve so much more, im afraid someone's gonna find you dead on the floor, I'm opening up and emptying out, it's time to unleash and uncage the demon within that feels the hatred and rage, and the same mind's angel that guides me through my day to day, I know tomorrow will be brighter, Jae I know that you're a fighter, you can get through it and so can I, we'll get through it and ill remember you and how it was from today until i die, ill remember how high we fly, I remember how perfect we had it figured out, it ended like it did im foaming at the mouth and im flaming in the soul, it hurt me so much do you realize who i am? Goodbye to the future the one that we knew, time to stand up together, with our faith renewed, like I said before I'm always going to have if anything the memory of you.