For the past 2 weeks I've been a little emotional about my hair.
I used have lonnng gorgeous hair.
And as I share more and more of my story I'm realizing how much being able to grow my hair out really means to me.
My children's father LOVED my long hair.
Without going into too much detail.
He also used it against me and used it to abuse me.
I'd like to say I cut all my hair off because I wanted to be edgy and cool... But really it was because I wanted him to stop.
Stop telling me he loved my long hair and for him to stop being able to use it to his advantage.
2 and 1/2 years later it's getting long again and I feel really weird about it.
In a good way though. I know it's strange but I'm growing it out for me .
It's emotional and empowering.
The anniversary effect.
For the last couple of weeks I’ve felt increased anxiety, frustration, and guilt.
The tiniest thing has set me off, whether in anger, sadness or just plain frustration at being frustrated.
From the memories of my FB posts I can see I struggled the same way last year, and the year before. So I looked it up.
Turns out it’s actually quite common to feel unsettled at the anniversary of a significant event or trauma.
I went to therapy #bestthingever, I processed my feelings and the trauma and thought I could just check it off my list as done. But that’s not exactly how it works.
That’s probably the reason my neck is frozen today from all the tension that’s built up, probably also the reason for the migraine, and probably adding to the fact that all I wanted to do today was stay in bed.
I fought it to go to church because I knew the very best thing for me would be to teach the children in our ward the gospel. It helped lift my spirits for sure.
Thankful my kiddos are all around to cuddle with today because sometimes you just need some extra snugs.💗 #ptsd#anxiety
Sometimes life surprises you and you end up in a place that your never expected.
If you’ve been following our home search/renovation plans the last two to three months in my stories then you know we’ve been going back and forth between moving to a place that has more space outside versus renovating our current home. While I was in Georgia in the middle of a peanut farm, my husband sent me this house. It’s about three hours away from our current home and near where I went to college. I never in a million years thought I would even consider moving back there, or that he would consider the city a viable option. But something about this place in the photo felt right. It had the look we wanted, a good layout, had been completely renovated and is on 7 acres of land. We went to see it and it felt like home right away. We didn’t want to leave. We made a fast decision - so fast that it surprised us and frankly all of the people that know us. This is our new home and we couldn’t be happier. —
We’re making plans that include chickens in the spring, rehabbing the massive garden and maybe several years down the road a horse or two.
Swipe right to see the view from outside. I’ll be updating as things move along and sharing some inside shots later this week. We will move in after Christmas. I pre-apologize for any crazy the next few months as I navigate the holidays, selling our current home and moving to our dream property. #modernfarmhouse#farmhousestyle#farmhouseliving#farmhouselife#dreamhome#weboughtafarm
Tomorrow we embark on a journey that has been long overdue. Looking forward, & taking action. I am tired of feeling the way I do & it only starts when I decide to start & so we decided. We have a 4am wake up call & we plan to do this every morning Monday-Thursday to get our workout in early so it sets the pace & the tone for the rest of the day. I feel my best after I exercise so I am hoping that this new attempt will do that! I’m taking control before the holidays so I can actually enjoy the food I will eat & not stress about guilt for eating that extra slice of pie.
Got some divine inspiration yesterday at Hobby Lobby. This simple saying sparked something inside of me that I’ve been pondering for a while. New direction! >>>>>
Don’t tell me Hobby Lobby can’t be spiritual😂
This is my collection of mindful books. I didn't read all of them yet. My intention is to read every single book on this shelf. Reading more has definitely changed my perception about writing. I was always a good at creative writer. I feel what stopped from writing is was the taught that it had to be perfect. I struggled with grammar. My first language was Spanish which I'm blessed for that. I have my beautiful grandmother to thank for that. She was like a second mommy to me. I always struggled in school with proper grammar so little by little I stopped writing. I loved journaling growing up but it seems that once I was being told by teachers that it wasn't right I began to get writer's block. The Joy that I once had for writing wasn't there anymore. I wrote in school just to get get my work done and get good grades. It was longer about Creativity. I remind myself that there is no right or wrong, JUST WRITE. #yogi#nyyoga#yogaislife#purpose#awakenloveyoga#lightworkers#pleasure#findyourbliss#transformational#creative#goodreads#mindset#movingforward#goodvibes.
HAVE YOU READ ANY SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT BOOKS? IF SO COMMENT BELOW 👇💖. HAVE YOU FELT CREATIVE LATELY? 🧚
I like to be as transparent with my life as possible.
It’s unfortunate that so many people hide behind their social media and don’t let what’s really bothering them or what they’re really going through into the world because they’re so scared of what other people may think.
Yesterday, I had a hair transplant procedure.
I started losing my hair when I was 18-19 and over the last few years it progressively got worse.
It’s something that I became very insecure about. I mean seriously, 22 years old... losing hair? Who wouldn’t be.
My doctor told me I would pretty much be bald by my mid to late 20’s.
There was NO way I was letting that happen lol.
Here’s the biggest thing about insecurities and imperfections though.
You have a choice to let it be one.
In this case, I chose to eliminate it out my life.
64 10523 days ago
Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is acting in the face of fear. It’s being afraid of something and doing it anyway. - excerpt from “Go for No”
Apprehension is normal, so is fear. Just don’t let it stop you from doing what you were meant to do. Don’t give fear the power to stop you. GO!