A story about the triumph of the human spirit through a nameless survivor in a post-apocalyptic world searching for her missing loved one, The Awakening blends elements of the testing plot that showcases the dynamic of willpower versus giving up, with the lone wolf story and the qualities of pure cinema. Stay tuned for more cinematic 🔥.
WOW!!! Check out this article in Christianity Today Magazine by my producing partner Shirin Taber about my short film Cellular. As part of the United Nations Plan of Action for Religious Leaders and Actors, Middle East Women’s Leadership Network (MEWLN) is using Cellular as the first in a series of short films to empower women to resist & condemn violent extremism and radicalism. Cellular was my thesis film at Fuller Seminary Starring Tamara Dhia from MTV’s Total Request Live. It amazes me to see how God is using it! We are booking screenings with Q&A's for church, inter-faith, womens' groups and peace promoting groups! If you are interested in booking a screening, contact: [email protected] or www.mideastwomen.org #tamaradhia#cellular#shortfilm#screenwriting#directing#indiefilm#women#womendirectors#womensissues#screenwriter#director
i don’t feel like posting today. something self-congratulatory, “bye la, love you!” so here’s where i am
i’m at LAX waiting to catch a flight home from my first film festival, where we got a very enthusiastic reception, met some wonderful people, and where i got to spend the weekend eating, wandering around LA, and watching films with my closest friend.
but still, this morning i had a panic attack that lasted nearly two hours. i’m sitting here now completely dehydrated from sobbing and groggy from the more-than-prescribed dose of ativan i took to try to calm down, only after barely rationalizing myself away from the whole bottle.
being a mentally-ill person making work about your mental illness is challenging in that it’s vulnerable, as you would expect, but also in that people expect that to some degree it is a dramatization. that i have some less severe form of BPD than Maggie does. that i’ve worked past it, that i am as fully-functioning and confident as i present. that it’s my past. and that sometimes, i allow that belief to become mine, too. to believe that i’ve overcome it, that i can speak to recovery, and be proud.
until i repeat all my same patterns, not having grown up at all. until i’m sitting in an airbnb unable to breathe, crying until i throw up, not able to visualize what it might mean to keep on living. or visualizing it, and not wanting it. not wanting to stick around to see if it actually gets better in any real way, or if the better is just one small moment that is enough to hold me until next time.
this post isn’t so you feel bad for me. i’ve gotten through this moment hundreds of times before. but it gets harder and harder each time, and that’s not something that anyone on social media is going to say to you. it really does get tiring always having to work to save yourself. again and again, without knowing why, or for how long. without praise, without an award or a degree you can display that shows how far you’ve come. that’s the reality of it.
sometimes there’s not some “other side” you come out on, but a daily decision of “one more day.” let’s just see how tomorrow is.
8 824 hours ago
703Bolt on set with @ryan_connolly during production of his latest film, BALLiSTIC (click the link in our bio for a sneak peek + BTS). @smallhd 👈🏼