Rupture and Repair, you clear the air
Rupture and Ignore, worst conflict is in store
One of the most impactful learning experiences for a child is when you as a parent repair a rupture. "Hey Johnny, I know I yelled at you earlier when you spilled your milk and I want you to know that was wrong and I am sorry." This is way more powerful than never yelling at all. Children do not need perfect parent role models. They need to see that you are human, conflict is part of life, and to learn a healthy way for them to replicate handling tough situations, mess-ups, failure. This promotes emotional intelligence and resilience. .........
Before you know it, your child will initiate his or her own apologies. By doing this, you have taught your child how to pause and reflect on his actions, and to have the courage to repair. The reason this is so important is is it teaches the child how to be more self-aware and others-aware, two major components to becoming well-adjusted adults. Conflict is suddenly not as scary which will help him immensely in his marriage later in life!
There is a myth that bosses shouldn't apologize, parents, or anyone in authority. The research shows that repairing a relationship actually makes it stronger, and increases the trust between two individuals. So keep being human and know messing up can be an amazing growth opportunity!
When we get really stuck in relationships, our knee jerk is to want to work on communication. Why? Mainly because we feel misunderstood or like our signals are getting distorted.
Communication is rarely the issue - knowing how to be in a healthy relationship with our partner is the issue! We have to know ourselves and be curious about the other while somehow expressing about needs and hurts and maintaining contact. That’s a lot of moving parts. And it’s what great couple relationships are all about. 👏🏼♥️
Did your relationship status change over the holidays? Are you already bombarded by questions about the big day? AT is here if you need a neutral space from all that noise to process your feels. #talkbeforeyouwalk#engaged
The Cry of Love 💕
Right now, the world is as far away from peace as its been for a long time. It’s like we’ve gone back in time; only, today we don’t have artists like Jimi Hendrix or The Beatles that make it worth it. I don’t think there is a more relevant or poignant quote that illustrates what is happening in this country today because we have power-hungry individuals leading us. However, what we may not see is that love of power stems from a place of fear and disconnection. This is not a political post, rather one inspired by the wisdom of the revolutionaries that came before us.
Our lives and our world thrive on connection and love; we need it. Jimi Hendrix was a genius, as were The Beatles, dedicating an entire song to the power of love. However, connection is freaking scary because it requires vulnerability and risk-taking with another human being. It may be seen as easier to love power than another person.
However, without connection and the power of love in our lives, what are we left with?
As an emotionally focused therapist, I guide my clients to a place where being vulnerable is a risk they’re willing to take. I guide them to a place where choosing love every single day is a risk they’re willing to take because it IS worth it. After all, love is all you need.
Currently taking new clients - please visit idafariba.com for more info✌️
Hello! I’m so excited to be doing an #InstagramTakeover today on #LittleBrown! I’m an author, clinical psychologist, primary developer of #EmotionallyFocusedTherapy ( #EFT), and proud dog mom!
Thanks so much for spending your Instagram day with me! And be sure to check out the link in bio for more info. - Sue
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FAQ from students (pre- *and* post-grad) and clinicians: “How can I learn more about becoming an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist? Do you recommend any books I can check out before deciding about the EFT externship?” 😎🙌 Here’s a little preview into a super useful resource from Dr. Sue! Just to clarify a common confusion, EFT can also stand for “Emotional Freedom Techniques,” which is a protocol that involves tapping—I’m referring to the #evidencebased relational model, #EFT, created by #SueJohnson. Take a peek inside and see what people training like myself are up to in the counseling room! I love this model because it fits my personality and validating style, and I also deeply appreciate the level of clarity and confidence it inspires within me and the clients I support—with any relationship in front of me at any point, I can show you on a map which stage and step we’re in and where we’re heading next. It’s all about bonding and emotional #attunement. Can’t recommend it enough as a modality for clinicians working with/hoping to work with relationships and systems! Feel free to DM if you have questions; I’m always happy to talk shop. This work is so close to my heart. 💞 If you’re a potential client looking to do some EFT counseling work, feel free to scope out my website, HeartAndScience.net, to learn more or/and request a complimentary face-to-face consultation to see if we might be a good fit! Clinicians and students can also access more resources and info on upcoming trainings at: iceeft.com! ☺️🙌 #iceeft#holdmetight#solutionfocused#traumainformed#healing#counseloreducation#atx#couplescounseling#premaritalcounseling#psychologybook#therapybooks#emotionallyfocusedtherapy