I want to tell you a story about why coaching for dads matters and what it can do:
Paul (not his real name) is a lovely dad of two who I worked with a few years ago.
At the start he really struggled. He felt selfish and unmanly for wanting support and couldn’t understand what was getting him down, let alone verbalise it. Life was OK, but he wanted more.
We started by putting words to his experiences, building a clear map of where things were and where he wanted change. We tapped into the seemingly impossible things he most deeply wanted to achieve. I remember Paul describing these sessions as “sudden clarity” where before there had just been a vague, mixed-up feeling of self-doubt, stress and exhaustion.
Paul and I then developed some important goals around what he most wanted - trust and closeness with his teenage son, managing conflict without shouting or leaving, to become an interesting and lively bloke again, to be respected by his team at work and be able to lead confidently.
Our weekly sessions offered Paul a confidential space to order his thoughts and problem-solve on his own terms, focus, understand and work through personal barriers, build effective skills and strategies and remain motivated to see goals through.
Something about the coaching approach clicked for Paul. He felt empowered by the solution-focused, non-judgemental and practical nature of coaching, he thrived in the communication exercises I brought in from my background in systemic therapy and was amazed at the rapid changes he was able to make to problems he had seen as un-fixable weeks before. His language become more assertive and clear, his tone calmer and his approach to issues skilful and thoughtful.
I’ve never found work so motivating as helping a father find his mojo and succeed in achieving huge, meaningful goals for himself and for his family. So I’ve recently decided to turn my passion for dads into a much-needed telephone coaching service specifically for dads (also open to mums who feel this approach would suit them). So please PLEASE share this resource with others. Post the names of some awesome dads you know below this post and check out www.amylonton.com
3 286 days ago
I knew who you were before you were born.
I knew who you were before I knew myself.
I knew who you were when I was only a kid.
Because I asked for you every night before bed, I asked the universe for a family of my own.
Most kids wanted to be fireman, a policeman, a superhero... I just wanted a family, I wanted to be a dad.
But never in a million years could I have imagined being a dad to be this amazing.
This is a gratitude post, I’m so thankful to have you in my life, that you chose me as your Dad... and, the way I will thank you, is to be the BEST possible Dad I can be.
As a dad; I may not always have all the answers, at times I may make mistakes, I may get frustrated, angryr, upset... but I will always do the best with what I know, and I will always do it from a place of love and caring.
Thank you my beautiful boy, dad loves you.
Comment below if your kid/s mean everything to you. .
Stop. Being. Fucking. Lazy
Pretty simple huh?
You will only get results if you get off your ass & put the hard work in.
Now, you can blame that there's not enough time in the day, you're sick, the kids are sick. Need to spend time with the family..
I get it.
Here's the answer. -Make the fucking time for you.
Get up an hour early & train before work, train during your lunch break at work. Go train after you put the kids down to bed.
Whatever works for you, do it.
Stop complaining, just fucking do it.
Stop. Being. Fucking. Lazy.
Now. What are you going to do?
2 1910:43 AM Nov 29, 2018
Thanks for all your patience and guidance coach Alex! Look out boys, here comes coach Jon so better be on your best behaviour! #dadcoach
0 82:59 AM Nov 29, 2018
There is nothing like coaching your own kids. Trying to decipher how to push them to be better and stronger athletes without hurting our father/son dynamics is tricky!
Did you know ice hockey is our official state sport? 🏒 Back in 2009, the sixth graders at Minnetonka Middle School East collected over 600 signatures to make it happen! Thanks to guys like @n8stangler (who coaches kiddos and plays in leagues) our winters are a whole lot more fun. // @n8stangler staying warm on and off the ice in a windproof @holebrooksweden sweater and classic @daleofnorway hat from @brightwaterclothing. Photo by @thisisgrayscale.