When you are a lass with extreme #anxiety and lots of #workoutmotivation you can only do one!
Waking up early and going for a long walk or a jog along the bay with my furry friends or doing a #kettlebell#workout at home is my numero uno way to keep my #mentalhealth#badthoughts away! 💪🏻
BUT sometimes I don’t get a chance to put on my metaphorical sassy purple leotard as my good friend anxiety likes to surprise me with #insomnia and #ptsd nightmares where it feels like I’ve been hit by a truck and haven’t slept for weeks , getting out of bed and trying to function without falling asleep and crying is my workout today as it’s almost lunch now and I haven’t achieved anything except for battling the dark passenger in my head 😩😭
Going to try to go for a walk to get my steps in before dinner , but sometimes despite your best plans , things happen and your mental health takes a dive and if putting one foot infront of the other is all you can do, I’m proud of you for that 👏🏻👏🏻
"So take the photographs,
and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
of good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth,
it was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable,
but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life"
(rallento il passo per ricordare qualcosa, assaporo lentamente questi attimi perché il ricordo non possa perdere i contorni)
I woke up this morning in so much agony. My mind had decided this was going to be a bad day and I felt like such a failure.
My morning routine is vitally important to me so I'm sure you can imagine how distraught I was. I was crying in the shower like a scene in a melodramatic action film. I decided to use the techniques I've been learning the past month in order to reclaim my day. I used today as a learning opportunity and not a day where I clench my jaw in fear that I'm going to scream. These are only three of the many tactics I use.
You are not your bad thoughts. Do not allow 15min of vulnerability to decide what kind of day you'll be having. After writing down my bad thoughts I realized how silly they really were and by midafternoon I was smiling goofy Ashley at work. I forgot that I was "supposed to be sad". You decide what kind of day you'll be having; not your or anybody else's negativity.
Je sens la froideur m'envahir, mes jambes trembles, mes dents claques, ma langues est pâteuse et j'ai froid, énormément froid. Qu'est-ce que j'ai docteur?
Je regarde mon assiette et j'ai envie de mourir, une simple miette de pain pèse le poids du béton sur ma langue... Je regarde les gens autour de moi. Qui sont-ils pourquoi sont-ils là? Où est mon soleil? Je ne vois plus rien. Les mots qui se mélangeaient et me donnaient la migraine il y a quelques instants ont disparu pour laisser un inquiétant vide. J'ai l'impression que mon coeur, que mon estomac, que mon foie et mes reins ont disparu. Un étrange vide m'envahit. Qu'est-ce que c'est que ça? J'ai l'impression de me noyer doucement, tranquillement dans une douce et calme mer salée.
I feel the cold invade me, my legs tremble, my teeth slam, my tongue is pasty and I'm cold, extremely cold. What do I have doctor?
I look at my plate and I want to die, a simple crumb of bread weighs the weight of the concrete on my tongue ... I look at the people around me. Who are they, why are they here? Where is my sun? I can not see anymore. The words that mixed and gave me a migraine a few moments ago disappeared to leave a disturbing void. I feel my heart, stomach, liver and kidneys are gone. A strange void invades me. What is it? I feel like I'm drowning slowly, quietly in a calm and salty sea.
when i was younger i watched a lot of anime.
i called myself otaku and tsundere and i had my own senpai.
haha, yes i was pretty cringy.
i dont know i think it was 2/3years ago.
now i'm still a child but feel way more grown.
i feel so much more like an adult and it doesn't feel god.
when i was younger i wanted to be a big adult with a job and a family.
now i'm on the right way for that but want to be a child again.
i want to cuddle with my mom, make movie nights with my parents and visit the zoo with them.
i want to hang out with friends and play with them fantasy roleplays in the woods.
now i'm too old for that.
but who said that?
who said you're too old to play in the woods?
who said that i'm too old to watch anime?
sigh, i feel bad because i don't do things like that anymore.
i want to do things like that again.
run trough the woods with my friends.
i watched some anime today and i'll watch more in the next time.
i love you, mom and dad.
i love you, my friends.
i love you, life.
thanks for everything.